Two Baby Hands by Gilbert Koh

Go get it! This is a MUST have poetry book! Wait! I have more to say about this book ...

(to be continued)

The Revenant

I am the dog you put to sleep,
as you like to call the needle of oblivion,
come back to tell you this simple thing:
I never liked you – not one bit.

When I licked your face,
I thought of biting off your nose.
When I watched you toweling yourself dry,
I wanted to leap and unman you with a snap.

I resented the way you moved,
your lack of animal grace,
the way you would sit in a chair to eat,
a napkin on your lap, knife in your hand.

I would have run away,
but I was too weak, a trick you taught me
while I was learning to sit and heel,
and – greatest of insults – shake hands without a hand.

I admit the sight of the leash
would excite me
but only because it meant I was about
to smell things you had never touched.

You do not want to believe this,
but I have no reasons to lie.
I hated the car, the rubber toys,
disliked your friends and, worse, your relatives.

The jingling of my tags drove me mad.
You always scratched me in the wrong place.
All I ever wanted from you
was food and fresh water in my metal bowls.

While you slept, I watched you breathe
as the moon rose in the sky.
It took all of my strength
not to raise my head and howl.

Now I am free of the collar,
the yellow raincoat, monogrammed sweater,
the absurdity of your lawn,
and that is all you need to know about this place

expect what you already supposed
and are glad it did not happen sooner –
that everyone here can read and write,
the dogs in poetry, the cats and all the others in prose.

By Billy Collins

Taken from The Trouble With Poetry

Afterthought

.

.

.

I Hate Myself for Loving You

I am looking for her album for my coming Wedding Anniversary. My wife simply love this song. Do let me know if you know where to get it in Singapore. Thanks.

Want to take a stroll along the beach with me?

Out of boredom, I took a quiz “Who is your perfect match?” yesterday in my Facebook account. And here is the result,

Intelligent Thinker

Your perfect match is someone who is kind, creative and quiet. This person is a thinker, someone who enjoys observing and analyzing the world. This type of person is content to let you do all the talking, yet is intelligent and bright and can contribute a wealth of knowledge to any conversation. While this person might seem aloof or even shy, once you get to know them, they are incredibly interesting, full of life and their serious side will compliment your more out-going nature. The top traits they are looking for in a mate include someone who is supportive, compassionate and understands their introverted nature. While this person might be somewhat skeptical that love exists because they are not big risk-takers and the choose their friends cautiously, deep down they are ready and eager to fall in love and will fall deeply for you, forming a deep and eternal bond. 

Afterthought

Either I am feeling extremely bored or I have been watching too many Korean drama series. (Thanks to my wife) But have you ever asked yourself, what makes a perfect spouse? It there such thing as a perfect spouse in the first place? If not then why do so many of us took such a long time to tie the knot? Maybe we want to believe that such person does exist, and he/she is waiting for us somewhere out there.  Sooner or later, when the time is right, we will eventually meet. How romantic ...

Let’s imagine … imagine that you can select your perfect spouse. Who will she/he be? Is she/he your soulmate? According to Wikipedia ,

“Soulmate is a term sometimes used to designate someone with whom one has a feeling of deep and natural affinity, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality, and/or compatibility. A related concept is that of the twin flame or twin soul – which is thought to be the ultimate soulmate, the one and only other half of one's soul, for which all souls are driven to find and join.”

Sound too perfect for me.

Or is she/he your best friend? You two can talk about almost everything under the sun!  Best of friends! 

Or she/he is someone whom you share your goals, dreams, faith, etc? Have similar interests, characters, etc? Like your refection in the mirror.

Or he/she is someone totally different from you? You have almost nothing in common except maybe both of you take the same bus to work, think that life sucks, Santa Clause is a fake, etc.

What about a different gender of you? I have been thinking about it, wouldn’t it be cool to meet a female version of me? I don’t think she would make a perfect spouse. Everything would be so predictable … boring. But since I have not met her yet, better not jump to conclusion. For a start, sex should be so                   .  (If you have dirty thoughts, you will not be able to read the word.)

I’ve discussed this question with my wife on a few occasions and we have come to a conclusion.

We are not soulmates. We have almost nothing in common although we both like watching Korean drama, enjoy good food, strolling along the beach, etc.  however, we don't share the same hobbies, goals, religions, etc. and no, we don't take the same bus to work. She doesn't even read my blog and that is why I can crap about my mother-in-law.

But we are good friends, very good friends. We are very comfortable with each other. I feel not guilt in digging my nose in front of her vice versa. We trust and support each other and most importantly, we give each other the personal space so badly needed for one to breathe, to grow, and to be true to oneself.  That to me is one of the most precious gift you can give to your loved one.

Guess she is not my perfect spouse / match, but she is good enough for me.  

Thank you my dear.

Time to Relax

I am planning to go for a short break in June. This should be a good
choice. [Please lower the volume on your PC before clicking.]

Fishbones Dreaming

Fishbones lay in the smelly bin.
He was a head, a backbone and a tail.
Soon the cats would be in for him.

He didn’t like to be this way.
He shut his eyes and dreamed back.

Back to when he was fat, and hot on a plate.
Beside green beans, with lemon juice
squeezed on him. And a man with a knife
and fork raised, about to eat him.

He didn’t like to be this way.
He shut his eyes and dreamed back.

Back to when he was frozen in the freezer.
With lamb cutlets and minced beef and prawns.
Three month he was in there.

He didn’t like to be this way.
He shut his eyes and dreamed back.

Back to when he was squirming in a net,
with thousands of other fish, on the deck
of a boat. And the rain falling
Wasn’t wet enough to breathe in.

He didn’t like to be this way.
He shut his eyes and dreamed back.

Back to when he was darting through the sea,
past crabs and jellyfish, and others
likes himself. Or surfacing to jump for flies
And feel the sun on his face.

He liked to be this way.
He dreamed hard to try and stay there.

By Matthew Sweeney


Afterthought

This is really a depressing poem. When I am dying on my deathbed, would I be also dreaming about my past?

My Reading List #1

I have a few other books in mind. Will be hunting them down at Borders next month. * wink *

1) Where Have All the Leaders Gone? by Lee Iacocca with Catherine Whitney

2) Change Your Questions, Change Your Life: 7 Powerful Tools for Life and Work by Marilee G.Adams, Ph.D.

3) Secrets of Foods Millionaires: How You Can Churn Millions in Asia’s F&B Industry by Phua Wen Yi

4) Becoming Evil: How Ordinary People Commit Genocide and Mass Killing by James Waller

5) The Essays of Warren Buffett: Lessons for Investors and Managers edited by Lawrence A. Cunningham

6) Simple Steps to Impossible Dreams: The 15 Powers Secrets of the World’s Most Successful People by Steven K. Scott

7) Your Magic Power to be Rich! by Napoleon Hill

8) Discover Your Genius: How to Think Like History’s Ten Most Revolutionary Minds by Michael J. Gelb

Friday the 13th

Feedback to Singapore Post:

I wish to feedback on your Speedpost service.

On Friday 13/02/2009, 14:30, your delivery man came to my house to deliver the package, Article No: XXX. As nobody was at home, he left a delivery advice to arrange for another delivery date/location.

The next morning Saturday 14/02/2009, I went to your Bukit Panjang Branch and was advised to call the Hotline at 1800 222 5777. A female customer officer (didn't get her name) answered my call, and I requested her to send the package to the Bukit Panjang Branch for collection as it is the nearest branch to my house. She also informed me that it will be ready for collection with effect from Tuesday 17/02/2009.

On Monday 16/02/2009, my wife called me in the office and told me that Speedpost has delivered the package in the morning. When I got home, I discovered that 2 items were missing. As it is quite common for my local supplier to separate my order into 2 packages, I assumed they must be in the package that I have missed on 13/02/2009. Moreover, I have already made arrangement to collect them at the Bukit Panjang Branch. Thus I came to the conclusion that I have 2 packages, i.e. the one I missed on 13/02/2009 and the one my wife received on 16/02/2009.

On Wednesday 18/02/2009, I eagerly rushed down after work to Bukit Panjang Branch but was told by an indian officer that my package has not been delivered yet. Imagine my disappointment as the 2 items are rare books that will soon be out of print.

I called 1800 222 5777 again on Thursday 19/02/2009 and was served by a customer service officer Maz, who assured me that she will follow up the case. As there was still no news from Maz over the weekend, I went down to Bukit Panjang Branch again this afternoon, determined to resolve the issue once and for all. The branch manager, a Malay lady, took down my particulars and promised me that she will personally tracked down the missing package.

Later in the afternoon, I called my supplier about the books, and imagine my surprise when she told me that because the books are currently out of stock, they were not included in the current shipment.

I really have mixed feeling regarding this incident. Firstly, I have made it very clear that I wanted my package to be delivered to your Bukit Panjang Branch but instead it was delivered to my house leading me to think that I have two packages. I am not sure if you call this exceeding customer’s expectation but it has created more problems for me.

Secondly, must it take so long to find out if there is more than one package involved? If your delivery man/customer service officer could confirmed that the package send on 16/02/2009 and the one I missed on 13/02/2009 is actually the same one, I would not have wasted so much times trying to track it down.

Lastly, I wish to thank Maz, the branch manager for Bukit Panjang Branch, and the indian officer for being so patience with me. Keep up the good work!

Funny Stuff

This is quite funny especially the last part of the act. :)

Take This Job And Shove It!

Deathbed Test

Imagine yourself on your deathbed. From that vantage point, look back at what you did for a living.

Was it worth it?

You’ve got three options:

i) Keep your job and seethe.
ii) Keep it and stop seething.
iii) Switch.

Keeping it and seething is simplest. Chances are, you’re already doing this. It affords you the frisson of venting – without having to risk anything or move a muscle. The ready-made “lazy and afraid” career-management strategy is staying and seething.

Staying without seething requires effort: the inner workout of exercising optimism and patience, of finding silver linings when your impulse is to shout “Take this job and shove it!”

Switching is the most strenuous workout of all. It’s not just mentally and physically hard but also terrifying, as it means learning new skills and routines and agreeing to take orders from and get along with a new set of strangers.

Yet switching is also easy in at least one sense. If one keeps switching at the first sign of dissatisfaction, one need never learn resilience, patience, or endurance. One is never forced to find inner peace. Instead, one just escapes – perhaps to face the same problems again in the next workplace. In which case one is not stuck in a job, per se, but stuck on starting over – stuck more on discontent, on the idea of being stuck at work, than actually stuck at work.

Taken from Stuck: Why We Can’t (or Won’t) Move On by Anneli Rufus

Afterthought

Two things caught my attention when I was reading this particular section a few days ago. Firstly the question

“Was it worth it?”

I love going for what I call “personal retreat” and during these retreats, most of the time, what I will do is to reflect on the past, analyze the present, and plan for the future. Occasionally, I might simply do nothing at home, take long naps, etc. But if I am in a reflective mood, one of the few questions I will ask myself will be “Was it worth it?”

What do I mean by that?

I know some of you might not share my view but I like to see life as a constant struggle between gain and sacrifice. For example, if your company is going to pay you that much, are you willing to spend more time at work and thus sacrificing the time spend with your loved ones? How much is enough? When will you realize that it is no longer worth it to put in so much effort in your work? When you no longer have time for dinner with your loved ones? When you realized that you hardly know the person lying next to you? Or when your idea of keeping in touch with your friends is sending them sms during festival seasons such as Christmas Day? Cool, one more sms received, they still remember me.

What about your health? How do you know that it is no longer worth it to work through the nights so that you will be able to meet the deadline the next day? Sure, you are a responsible person. You have to answer to the management. You will not allow yourself to fail or be perceived as someone who is inefficient, someone who is unable to take stress, in a nutshell - a weakling, . But think about it, you are also responsible for your own health! You are also responsible for your relationships with your loved ones. Most importantly, you are responsible for yourself, who you are, and what you are worth!

Yesterday I could not made up my mind between spending Valentine's Day with my wife and going back to office to clear my reports. After some thought, I apologized to her and explained that I need to be responsible for my work and meet the deadline given by the management. My wife turned around, looked into my eyes and said, “Have you forgotten about our marriage vows? You are responsible for me too.” To be honest, I was totally caught off guard by her comment which is actually quite rare. But I am glad to share that we had a wonderful Valentine's Day together. :)

Secondly the author is right,

"If one keeps switching at the first sign of dissatisfaction, one need never learn resilience, patience, or endurance. One is never forced to find inner peace."

There is no running away from heavy workloads, bitchy bosses, backstabbing colleagues, demanding clients, irritating emails and phone calls, etc. So what are you going to do about it? Trying to run away from your problems is like pretending that if you manage to run away from them today, you will be problem-free for the rest of your life. 

But guess who created all these problems? You and me, who else? Human beings just can’t stop creating problems. World peace is an illusion. Go ahead, ask the politicians. Maybe unless you are an alien from another planet, but wait a minute, aliens have problems too such as avoiding been seen by us, not crashing into Earth, etc. Come to think of it, why don’t they crash into Singapore? I believe the government will welcome them with open arms. 

So what is the solution? According to the author, we have to find our inner peace. I believe the definition of inner peace is very subjective.  What constitute as inner peace for a serial killer will be very different from my barber, I hope.

Currently, I am still in the process of finding my inner peace. There are so many new things to try, new places to explore, new books to read, etc.  Sure I am still working hard to meet my deadline, but not the usual deadlines. You see, we all have a date with Death. So before Death comes knocking on my door, I am going to do as much as I can to make my life worthwhile.  And when I am on my deathbed, I can proudly look back and says, “It was all worth it.”

What about you?

Sit On Your Butt And Breathe

I have recently finished reading A Thousand Paths to Zen by Robert Allen. The book reminds me of the days when I was unemployed and maintaining my sanity is a daily struggle. Out of the 1000 paths, I have selected 30 paths that speak to me. :)

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1. To get rid of your passions is not nirvana – to look upon them as no matter of yours, that is nirvana.

2. Zen poet Seiken-Chiju spent twenty years on a pilgrimage only to realize he had not moved an inch.

3. The less there is me, the more there is Zen. The more there is Zen, the more there is me.

4. How many things I can do without! – Socrates

5. When an ordinary man acquires knowledge, he becomes wise. When a wise man attains enlightenment, he becomes ordinary.

6. The master asked, “Who binds you?”
The pupil replied, “No one.”
The master rejoined, “So why do you seek liberation?”

7. “While I was meditating,” said the new student, “I saw a beautiful white bird come down and land on my head.”
“Leaving you with feathers for brain,” observed her teacher.

8. I asked a child, walking with a candle, “Where does the light come from?” Instantly he blew it out. “Tell me where it’s gone and I’ll tell you where it came from.” – Hasan of Basra

9. A Japanese girl called Satsume experienced an awakening while still only in her teens. One day her father found her seated on one of the scriptures meditating and scolded her for her disrespect. “How,” she replied, “does this scripture differ from my butt?”

10. If you want excitement, set fire to your pants. Zen isn’t about excitement.

11. As long as you seek enlightenment you will never see that you already have it.

12. Some people call Zen a ‘Way of Liberation,” which sounds very impressive, but who is to be liberated, and from what?

13. Zen isn’t the answer to all your problems – Zen is all your problems.

14. Even the greatest master never taught one word of Zen.

15. There’s nothing in this world that you can cling to. But how hard it is to let go!

16. Do as much good as you can, but do not be attached to doing good. It is not an aim in itself.

17. Don’t expect to understand Zen like a piece of conventional knowledge. It’s more like when you get the point of a joke.

18. Zen doesn’t make sense. But then life is under no obligation to make sense.

19. Seek a teacher if you wish, but you will only make progress when you realize that your real master stares at you from the mirror every day.

20. Anyone who tries helpfully to explain Zen to you is doing you a grave disservice.

21. Do not avoid life. Zen is not about drinking weak tea in musty parlors.

22. There is a story of a Zen student who cut his arm off to persuade a master that he was sincere enough to become his pupil. Why pay such a price for what is yours already?

23. It’s no good wishing you were someplace else, doing something else. This is where you are, doing what you have to do. Relax. Do it. Everything else is superfluous.

24. A friend asked, “In your Zen where do you go when you die?” There is nowhere to go.

25. Give something a name and you set limits on it. The name Zen is merely a convenience because you need to call it something. But people tend to confuse the name with the real thing and that can only lead to trouble.

26. It’s no good trying to be good, kind, and virtuous unless that is how you feel. The world has enough hypocrites. Let Zen fill you up and morality will take care of itself.

27. If you can’t get it, throw it out. Then you’ll have it.

28. Searching for Zen is like an old man using his spectacles to hunt for his spectacles.

29. There are no rules in Zen except that you keep exploring. If you think you’ve reached your destination you haven’t.

30. When someone makes a silly inconsequential remark and a friend says, “That’s very Zen” – it isn’t.

Everything Happens For a Reason

A few days ago I tried getting a cab, as I was really late for an appointment. After waiting for almost an hour I gave up and took a train instead. I could have called a cab, but being a stubborn person, well… On the way to my appointment I was cursing my luck, feeling miserable and down. It was not exactly how I wanted to start my day.

During lunchtime, while fumbling for my wallet, I realized I have left it at home. It suddenly occurred to me that if I have managed to get a cab in the morning, I would not have been able to pay for the fare as my money is in my wallet. Gosh, it would be really embarrassing!

Currently my department is in a mess, morale is low, workloads are increasing, etc. To add insult to injury, the management is treating us like children, demanding more from us, threatening to punish us with disciplinary actions for minor mistakes, etc. Damn I won’t be surprised if we might have to seek permission to take a piss in the near future.

Of course I am aware that our clients are important but doesn’t the management know that if you don’t take good care of your employees, how do you expect them to take good care of the clients?

As a strong believer of the saying 'Everything happens for a reason', I really hope things would turn out fine in the end. But I have a bad feeling that it won’t be long before someone feels that enough is enough and tenders his/her resignation, followed by another, and another ...

Wishing You a Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year!

Snowflake

Timing’s everything. The vapor rises
high in the sky, tossing to and fro,
then freezes, suddenly, and crystallizes
into a perfect flake of miraculous snow.
For countless miles, drifting east above
the world, whirling about in a swirling free-
for-all, appearing aimless, just like love,
but sensing, seeking out, its destiny.
Falling to where the two young skaters stand,
hand in hand, then flips and dips and whips
itself about to ever-so-gently land,
a miracle, across her unkissed lips:
as he blocks the wind raging from the south,
leaning forward to kiss her lovely mouth.

William Baer

It feels good to fall in love with life again isn't it? :)

And This Too Shall Pass

One day King Solomon decided to humble Benaiah ben Yehoyada, his most trusted minister. He said to him, "Benaiah, there is a certain ring that I want you to bring to me. I wish to wear it for Sukkot which gives you six months to find it."

"If it exists anywhere on earth, your majesty," replied Benaiah, "I will find it and bring it to you, but what makes the ring so special?"

"It has magic powers," answered the king. "If a happy man looks at it, he becomes sad, and if a sad man looks at it, he becomes happy." King Solomon knew that no such ring existed in the world, but he wished to give his minister a little taste of humility.

Spring passed and then summer, and still Benaiah had no idea where he could find the ring. On the night before Sukkot, he decided to take a walk in one of he poorest quarters of Jerusalem. He passed by a merchant who had begun to set out the day's wares on a shabby carpet. "Have you by any chance heard of a magic ring that makes the happy wearer forget his joy and the broken-hearted wearer forget his sorrows?" asked Benaiah.

He watched the grandfather take a plain gold ring from his carpet and engrave something on it. When Benaiah read the words on the ring, his face broke out in a wide smile.

That night the entire city welcomed in the holiday of Sukkot with great festivity. "Well, my friend," said King Solomon, "have you found what I sent you after?" All the ministers laughed and King Solomon himself smiled.

To everyone's surprise, Benaiah held up a small gold ring and declared, "Here it is, your majesty!" As soon as King Solomon read the inscription, the smile vanished from his face. The jeweler had written three Hebrew letters on the gold band: _gimel, zayin, yud_, which began the words "_Gam zeh ya'avor_" -- "This too shall pass."

At that moment King Solomon realized that all his wisdom and fabulous wealth and tremendous power were but fleeting things, for one day he would be nothing but dust.

Do You Think I Am A Serious Person?

A few months ago my GM asked me to act my age [I am 36 years old]. Recently, I send an sms to a female colleague and ended the message with “Muhahahaha!!!" She is still recovering from the shock. Apparently, she has always considered me as a serious person with little sense of humour. [Hmm. I should have added ‘Kekekeke’, okiee, etc. in my sms.]

Out of curiosity, I decided to get some feedbacks from my friends. Below are their sms replies to my question “Do you think I am a serious person?”

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1) Yes, I think you are a serious person but serious in a positive sense.
[Okay, but can you explain to me what is the difference between serious in a positive sense and serious in a negative sense?]

2) Frankly, you are serious when it comes to work but as a person you can be playful.
[I can be playful at work too, look, I've turned your keyboard upside down.]

3) I don’t think you are serious, but you like to do well in what you do, so some people might see this as being too serious.
[Seriously, I like your answer but luckily you are not my boss.] :)

4) Hard to explain. You know when to be serious and when to be playful.
[I know it is hard to explain, but can you give me some examples?]

5) I think you are seriously ill. Let me do a full checkup for you.
[Hi I am married you know! Stay away from me … come back later when my wife is asleep.]

6) Basically you are not a serious person but you may at times take things too seriously.
[Oh no! I am an extremist!]

7) You are not serious but you do have a unique sense of humour.
[Hmm. Why am I not laughing?]

8) Not really serious, more like focus.
[It is the same thing right?]

9) 60 % Serious, 40 % Playful.
[Dude, you don’t have to remind me that you are an Accountant.]

10) Ya kind of. But you do have a weird funny side to you in hiding.
[Now this is indeed weird, I didn’t know I have split personality.]

11) Serious most of the times but occasionally a bit too lame.
[Hmm. And yet you laugh at my jokes.]

12) No, you can be crappy if you want to.
[You have no idea how crappy I can be my friend ... you have no *censored* idea ...]

13) Not really.
[You are one of my best friends and yet your reply is this short? * faint *]

14) You must be joking.
[I wasn't joking when I said you are supposed to treat me lunch hor.]

Senior Management. Muhahahaha!!!

Sexual harassment widespread at the workplace

On 9 July 2008 AWARE released its Research Study on Workplace Sexual Harassment 2008.

Over half of 500 people surveyed by women's group Aware said they have been sexually harassed in the workplace.

Of these, one in five was a man.

Many of them said they have been sexually harassed several times, suggesting that this tends not to be a one-off, isolated event.

More than 10 per cent reported receiving 'career threats such as termination, or withholding of promotion' if they did not go along.

These are some of the key findings in the 16-month study by Aware to find out awareness and attitudes towards workplace sexual harassment in Singapore.

The study is the second by Aware - the first was done in 1994 but it focused mainly on Japanese companies in Singapore.

On why it decided to carry out a second survey, Ms Leigh Pasqual, chairman of the Aware sub-committee on workplace sexual harassment, said: 'We had a sense of indignation at the kinds of things we were hearing from our helpline.'

'The number of calls related to this is not a huge increase but it was the nature of the calls that caused some alarm for us.'

Its helpline received eight calls related to sexual harassment in 2006, which increased to 19 last year.

The survey also showed that nearly seven in ten of the respondents said they were not aware of any policies in their workplace on sexual harassment.

Eleven per cent said they received career threats such as termination or withholding of promotion if they did not comply with requests for a date or some forms of sexual favours.

Aware's president Constance Singam said there is a greater need now to acknowledge the existence of sexual harassment in the workplace.

'We need to raise awareness of the harassment, its definition and tell women and men that it's not acceptable,' said Ms Singam, urging women to speak up and say no, when being harassed.

'Government policies have to recognise and follow it up with legislation to a level of zero tolerance,' she added.

Labour MP Halimah Yacob said the statistics were higher than she had expected.

'As more women are entering the workplace, companies should consider putting in place policies to prevent the occurrence of sexual harassment and a system for such grievances to be addressed fairly when they are raised, said Mdm Yacob.

'Dismissing such complaints or trying to suppress them is not the right options.'

Key survey findings on Workplace Sexual Harassment by Aware

500 people took part in the Aware's survey on workplace sexual harassment, which was conducted from August to December 2007.

Here are the key findings:

54 per cent experienced some form of sexual harassment.

25 per cent knew of others who had been sexually harassed at work.

66.6 per cent were not aware of any policies in their workplace on sexual harassment.

19.8 per cent experienced sexual harassment outside the office, including at office parties, client's offices, during team building events.

34 per cent of women respondents and 19.2 of men reported being harassed several times.

11.4 per cent reported receiving 'career threats such as termination, or withholding of promotion', if they rejected requests for a date or more serious forms of sexual favours.

The most frequent form of sexual harassment was verbal harassment, followed by physical and visual harassment.

13.9 per cent said the harassment affected their work performance negatively, and 12.5 per cent feared losing their job.

17.3 per cent said they were harassed by their superior, while 26.8 per cent pointed the finger at 'a colleague'.

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The above article is taken from www.asiaone.com. A more detailed report can be found at www.aware.org.sg. Below is the respond from MOM (Ministry of Manpower),

"9. On the issue of workplace sexual harassment; MOM hardly receives complaints of such nature. Notwithstanding this, as with cases of workplace discrimination, workers who experience sexual harassment problems could take up the issue with their management, or through their unions if they are union members. If necessary, they could also lodge a police report. Since there are already avenues of recourse and legal protections available, there is no need for additional legislation against workplace sexual harassment."

Afterthought

After much consideration, I decided to go ahead and write about sexual harassment in my workplace. [No I am not the one has been sexual harassed] Initially, I hesitated to do so for the following reasons:

1) I do not like to write about my work/workplace/colleagues, etc, unless necessary.
2) I might cause some discomfort to my colleagues.
3) I might piss off a colleague whom I really valued. There is a high chance that she might end our friendship after reading this post.

However, if I don’t get this off my chest, I will continue to have sleepless nights. [I really need my beauty sleep you know.]

For those of you who do not know me personally, I apologize for not being able to tell you the name of my organization. But for those who know, well you are going to be surprised to learn that these things do happen even in an organization like mine. The sad thing is sexual harassment has been tolerated for years without any action being taken.

I am really puzzled, why didn’t my female colleagues feel offended by this moron’s crude sexual remarks/harassment? What’s stopping them? I decided to conduct a simple survey. The result was discouraging.

From the indifferent …

I simply ignored him.
He is a moron lah, just let him be.
He has always been like that, what can you do about it?
Huh? Who care.

… to the defensive …

Why do you bother so much about something so trivia?
Are you indirectly calling me a slut?
You have nothing better to do ah?
Why want to blow things up?

A dreaded thought came across to my mind, is there a possibility that they might enjoy being at the receiving end of his sexual harassment? If they don’t feel offended, does it still constitute sexual harassment? Maybe there is some truth that women like men who talks dirty, but why? If that is the truth, who is to blame? Aren’t they encouraging him to be bolder?

Please don’t get me wrong, I am not suggesting that my fellow female colleagues are sluts. I respect them a lot and that’s why I feel so offended by this moron’s actions. They don’t deserve to be treated in this manner.

But the conclusion I've derived from my informal survey is too discouraging – they simply don’t care. For example, there was once I overhead this moron telling a female colleague that he wants to put his hands between her legs to see if she is wet. Personally, that remark has crossed the line. But to my surprise, she just laughed it off. WHAM!!!

When I emailed her later regarding this matter, she was annoyed with me for being a busybody. DOUBLE WHAM!!!

Are we Singaporeans so well-conditioned to simply ‘laugh it off’ whenever we face an awkward situation? No wonder MOM declared that it has ‘hardly receives complaints of such nature.’

But dear friends, please take note, these perverts know how to pick their victims. They will push their luck, they will test your limits, as long as you continue to portray yourself as a willing party, they WILL NOT STOP!!!

Before you brush it off again, please consider the feeling of your loved ones. You might not care, but they do. Make a stand before it is too late.
.

Do not stand at my grave and weep

Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.

Mary Elizabeth Frye (1905 - 2004)


Afterthought

Hang on to your life, or whatever that is left.

From June to October this year, 5 officers from my department have either resigned, transferred out, etc. A few days ago, 2 more officers have tendered their resignation. In all, more than 40% of the original strength has left without any replacement. The management has been asking the remaining officers to hang on and assured us that help is on its way. Unfortunately, they told us the same thing back in June.

Out of frustration, I made the above poster this morning and pinned it on my workstation. I am not sure what the management will think of my creation but I really don’t give a damn. Rather than having posters with clichéd posters such as ‘Be Positive’, ‘Don’t Worry, Be Happy!’ blah, blah, blah, I prefer straight-to-your-face ones. So guys, any good lines for my new posters? :)

The Poetry of Magic

The first magic book I bought was Theodore Annemann’s Practical Mental Magic. Somehow it calls out to me and it is one of the few books I go to for new ideas and inspirations.  There are various types of magic but personally I prefer Mentalism and Bizarre Magick.  The temptation of appearing to be able to read someone’s mind is simply too cool to resist.

Card tricks that do not require difficult sleight of hand but have powerful effects are also my favourites.  In fact, the first time I performed for my colleagues, about 15 – 20 of them, was my version of “Do as I do”.  They really loved it and one of my colleagues later told me that she knows how the trick is done but prefer my version. 

Currently I am in the process of planning two magic routines for my department. I have no ambition to be a magician and my sole goal is to entertain my family members and friends. 

Frankly magic is an expensive hobby but seeing how much joy my audience derive from watching my performances, I think it is all worth it. :)

P.S. By the way my wife hates this image and insists that the eyes are evil. What do you think?

The Listeners

"Is there anybody there?" said the Traveller,
Knocking on the moonlit door;
And his horse in the silence champed the grass
Of the forest's ferny floor;
And a bird flew up out of the turret,
Above the Traveller's head:
And he smote upon the door again a second time;
"Is there anybody there?" he said.
But no one descended to the Traveller;
No head from the leaf-fringed sill
Leaned over and looked into his grey eyes,
Where he stood perplexed and still.
But only a host of phantom listeners
That dwelt in the lone house then
Stood listening in the quiet of the moonlight
To that voice from the world of men:
Stood thronging the faint moonbeams on the dark stair,
That goes down to the empty hall,
Hearkening in an air stirred and shaken
By the lonely Traveller's call.
And he felt in his heart their strangeness,
Their stillness answering his cry,
While his horse moved, cropping the dark turf,
'Neath the starred and leafy sky;
For he suddenly smote on the door, even
Louder, and lifted his head:--
"Tell them I came, and no one answered,
That I kept my word," he said.
Never the least stir made the listeners,
Though every word he spake
Fell echoing through the shadowiness of the still house
From the one man left awake:
Ay, they heard his foot upon the stirrup,
And the sound of iron on stone,
And how the silence surged softly backward,
When the plunging hoofs were gone.

By Walter De La Mare (1873 - 1956)

Olny srmat poelpe can raed tihs

I received this from my colleague via email this morning, and it reminds me of the amazing qualities of the human brain. Check this out.

"Olny srmat poelpe can raed this.

I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in what oredr the ltteers in a word are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is that the first and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it wouthit a porbelm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! If you can raed this psas it on !! "

So how about applying this to a poem? Will you still be about to read it? Let’s see.

Lesovilet of teres, the cerhry now

Lesovilet of teres, the cerhry now
Is hnug wtih bolom anolg the bgouh,
And snadts aoubt the wanolodd rdie
Warnieg withe for Earidtsete.

Now, of my trcesoehre yreas and ten,
Tentwy wlil not cmoe aigan,
And tkae form svetney srpgnis a sorce,
It olny lavees me ftify mroe.

And snice to look at tngihs in boolm
Ftify srpgnis are ltltie room,
Aubot the wnaolodd I wlil go
To see the cerhry hnug wtih sonw.

A.E. Hmousan (1859 - 1936)

So guys, what do you think? Did you find it easier to read the poem compare to the passage? Tougher right? Anyway, I still prefer its original form. This poem is going to retain its place in my “Top 100 Favourite Poems” list for a long long time. Absolutely love it.

Loveliest of trees, the cherry now

Loveliest of trees, the cherry now
Is hung with bloom along the bough,
And stands about the woodland ride
Wearing white for Eastertide.

Now, of my threescore years and ten,
Twenty will not come again,
And take from seventy springs a score,
It only leaves me fifty more.

And since to look at things in bloom
Fifty springs are little room,
About the woodlands I will go
To see the cherry hung with snow.

A.E. Housman (1859 - 1936)